Courage Journal #11

Tonight I drove up to Victor, Colorado for the Village X retreat I will be speaking at. Between Cripple Creek and Victor, there were some pretty intense roads to drive on. I have driven some pretty intense four-wheeling roads before and have also driven from Alaska to Colorado (through Canada) and was never nervous about the driving. For some reason, trying to get to Victor on time and in the dark made the mountain driving feel treacherous. It also did not know exactly which road we would need to turn on so it made the atmosphere in the car tense.

I was also feeling stressed about the retreat, homework I would have to get done, and had some school issues on my mind. Needless to say, I was feeling restless. Do you know what I'm talking about? When you feel like your stomach is in knots and there is no specific reason; you just feel nervous!

I did not show good courage in the midst of this situation. I should have had the "spiritual guts" to give it over to God and trust that all the details would work out (which they did). Instead, I just stayed nervous and acted tense. Prayer is one of the most calming things a Christian can do, especially if he means it! But instead of doing what God has called me to do when stressed, which is talk to Him, I just tried to deal with it on my own! I pray that next time I would make the right choice and let go of my anxiety!

-Tharp-